We had a class meeting.

[ninevirtues]

A couple of the faculty called a class meeting for our class over the break, so they could 'get feedback from us about what was and was not working in our education'.

I'm still thinking about how that meeting went. I carefully watched who talked, who stayed quiet, et cetera.

When asked directly whether our class is, as has been rumored, known as "the whiners", our professor temporized, saying we had a "complex personality."

I read that as, "Yes, some of you whine like stomped grapes, but not all of you."

So I went to my academic adviser, who is known for her understanding of interpersonal politics, group dynamics, et cetera, and asked her, "Is our class _really_ known as the whiners?" There followed a moment of not-quite-stunned silence.

"Well, every class develops its own personality, and usually a group of students within the class-- not all of them, but a group of them-- drives the personality."

I read that as, "Well, the large and obvious cliques in your class drive the group dynamic." (They do, I agree. Some of the people in my class complain a lot.)

Comments

[browse.livejournal.com]

Heh. My high school AP American History teacher definitely considered my class to be major whiners. At the time, I thought she was mental and merely didn't know how to deal with students who wanted to understand _why_ she did things in a certain way, rather than just following like sheep. But, I was curious about whether I would feel differently when I was older and had more of the perspective of an adult.

As it so happens, I still think she was just a very poor teacher who had no business working with bright kids. But then, plenty of people would claim I still haven't reached an adult state yet, so who am I to judge? :-)

There's more

[ninevirtues.livejournal.com]

In talking to my classmates after the meeting, one thing stood out: Many of us said, "There were issues? Do I live under a rock, or what? I wasn't aware of any issues."

And another thing stood out: More than one person at the meeting said, "I wish we were less cliqueish and that we worked together more."

In thinking about it, the meeting started out as a skillfully directed polite gripe session, and gradually became more of a come-to-jesus meeting, in which we stopped making polite, but constructively critical remarks to the faculty and started making them to each other. (It's true; there are one or two major cliques in the class, mostly people who.... let me put this politely.... don't have a lot of real-world experience, but do have a laser-like focus on making grades, competing with each other socially and academically, and... excluding others. Or so it would seem.)

The take-home message for me is this: I assumed, because of my background and life experience, that no one in the class liked me because I sucked. (It was a divorce thing.) No. I was not even close. The people who are nasty.... are nasty to everyone who is not in their little clique. They comprise half the class, but their per-capita nastiness just makes them seem more influential than they are. I need to ignore them, find the 50% of the class who are perfectly nice people who also wish the class was nicer, and talk to that 50%.

Re: There's more

[browse.livejournal.com]

It's hard for me to picture you with confidence issues. It just doesn't mesh with my mental image of you. :-)

How does your age compare with the rest of the class? I have a friend in her mid-late 30s who is in law school up in Oregon, and she feels completely excluded and even somewhat attacked by other students because she is so much older than the rest of the class.

I like your plan for ignoring the clique and finding the good where you are able. Good luck with it; lemme know how it goes.

Re: There's more

[ninevirtues.livejournal.com]

I don't think I tied that last comment together very well. Let me try again: Some members of our class-- who also happen to be members of the large, very academically focused clique that seems to comprise about half the class-- appear to have a general tendency to whine, complain, and argue to professors, and to exclude other members of the class from their clique.

I believe, though I don't know the whole story, that this meeting was called to address their concerns.... which is why the rest of us had the "Concerns, what concerns, have I been living under a rock?" reaction.

Confidence issues: It was a divorce thing, like I said.

As far as age... no, I don't have a lot of friends in the class, though that situation seems to be changing gradually... perhaps as the 50% of the class who's not in the main clique discovers that we're the silent majority and we have more in common than we previously believed. ;-) I definitely don't hang out in bars (like a lot of them do) and I don't start my Saturday night at 11 PM and go til 4 AM (like they do). Nor am I the oldest one; the oldest one is the most unlikely looking ex-marine you ever saw.... skinny, smart, bald as an egg, polite, no nonsense.

Re: There's more

[ninevirtues.livejournal.com]

Actually, I might like to talk to her, if she's up for it.