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ninevirtuesCultural fine point: When a southern guy looks at you and repeats the exact same question he just asked you, it's not because he didn't hear you (or, in the case of email, lost the mail). He doesn't like the answer (and it upsets him). This is your golden opportunity to request a do-over. Take it.
Cultural fine point #2: I used to think there could not possibly be anything worse than vacuum-packed fatback. Then I found the salt cured, vacuum-packed fatback. And the frozen pig ears.
Cultural fine point #2: I used to think there could not possibly be anything worse than vacuum-packed fatback. Then I found the salt cured, vacuum-packed fatback. And the frozen pig ears.
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Re: well see, YOU qualify as a Californian.
Date: 2004-11-24 02:34 pm (UTC)Hmm, I'm not being very clear, am I?
Put it this way. During the original exchange that got me in trouble, I was invited to someone's house for post-thanksgiving dinner. I said, "I'd love to, but I actually am going to my brother's house in Fuquay-Varina for dinner." Then I got asked the same question, with the exact same words, but more angst.
Out West, that would mean that the guy wanted to make sure he'd heard correctly, and if he was displeased, he'd try to negotiate, with a different sentence, using different words. In your second sentence, YOU used different words than the first time, words that clearly indicated to me that the sentence to which you were responding did not sit well with you.
Now am I making more sense?
As for dating... if I had the sense God gave a mosquito, I'd leave it strictly alone; these days, I have a schedule like an overscheduled nun with a bike racing habit. (Ahem. ;-) Apparently, I don't have sense, though, because I put up a profile on Yahoo personals. (bikeracergirl is the name, if you care to check it out.) I don't actively go hunting for dates; I let them find me.
Some of them look.... leathery, like they've been rode hard and put away wet repeatedly. Some of them look.... scary. I ignore those. Some of them look.... promising. I respond to those. Nothing serious has transpired. That's fine. In many ways, I'm still processing what happened with the ex; I'd be bitter, but the bottom line is-- the things that went down, did so because I allowed them to.... so the onus is on me to change what I will allow and what I expect.
What's interesting to me, that I'm still pondering, is that a lot of the people my age who live here-- of both genders!-- look like they're much older than I am, and like they have not been taking care of themselves. I'm still pondering whether it's social (there's not the strong pressure to look good that there is in the Bay Area), educational (people with college educations don't have that problem) or habitual (people who smoked, sunned, shunned exercise, and ate badly showed a lot of wear early).
Re: well see, YOU qualify as a Californian.
Date: 2004-11-24 03:09 pm (UTC)"Do you want to come over to my house for a post-Thanksgiving dinner?"
"No thanks, I have plans already. I'm going to my brother's house in Fuquay-Varina." (Where the...? Nevermind, that's another topic.)
(Stated again, more firmly) "Do you want to come over to my house for a post-Thanksgiving dinner?"
Is that how it went down? If so, wow that would creep me out.
As to some of your other comments:
"nun with a bike racing habit" Heh, I get it. I'm picturing Sally Fields as the Flying Nun (before your time, no doubt), but with a bike helmet instead of that silly wimple she wore. (Yes, "wimple". Look it up. ;-)
"leathery" I tend to associate that with a life of manual labor, particularly outdoors. Say what you like about office work, but it's easier on the body by a long shot, at least the outer layers. I also notice that I seem to look and act younger than my relatives and friends who have gone down the parenthood path.
I'd like to hear the full "ex-" story sometime, if you feel like sharing and have the time. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours. :-)
Re: well see, YOU qualify as a Californian.
Date: 2004-11-24 03:22 pm (UTC)You heard correctly.
I was confused, because the emotion level of comment #2 was a lot higher than the emotion level of comment #1. It wasn't creepy, just confusing to me. And in both cases, the guy *vanished* after that exchange, like I'd really offended him.
Solution: Contact the guy, ask for a do-over, explain there was a cultural misunderstanding, and carry on.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-28 11:07 pm (UTC)How DO you look up someone by their profile name? I spent 5 minutes digging around their lame system, and could not figure that out.
Will you be visiting Fezzi's this year?
well, actually....
Date: 2004-11-29 04:14 am (UTC)Search for 35 year old women in Burlington, NC (zip code 27215) with an athletic body type. I think that will return 5-10 results. I should be easy to find from there.
No, I won't be visiting this year. :-( Plane tickets at Christmas _cost_!
after some thought....
Date: 2004-11-29 05:02 am (UTC)You know, Greg, you asked me out last year, and I said, "No, thanks." In fact, you asked repeatedly, and each time I said, "No, thanks."
There's an invisible line that separates nice, but not-dateable guys from creepy, delusional stalker guys. If you were to ask again, you would come perilously close to crossing that line. I wouldn't risk it, if I were you.
Off to class now!