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ninevirtuesSometimes, online dating is not all wine and roses. This email came straight out of the woodwork, looking for me. (Warning: Posting contains introspection... if the contents of my head do not interest you, feel free to skip.)
-----snip-------
I have no idea whether you would consider this challenge or not, but I am curious so I will ask. I have been working out consistently over the past month(first time ever) and would love to compare myself to a fit woman. I was beaten in armwrestling by a female trainer and I would love to see if I could compete with other fit females. You are definitely one of them. I mean no offense by it as I want to commend you for the shape you are in. I would just love to see what would happen. Maybe meet for lunch or something too. Just a thought!
------snip------
In looking at the profile... name withheld to protect the tactless... here we have a newly separated man who doesn't know what will happen with the separation (sounds like didn't see it coming and really wants to get back together with the wife), but also wants to get out and meet people--nothing like one woman to help you forget another one, I guess.
Yeow. There's a lot in this email for me. Reading it from the top down, I get:
- Even an unfit man can reasonably expect to compete with a fit woman
- I want to use you and your fitness as training wheels to motivate me
- And you're a bit of a freak for being as fit as you are
- No, I'm not interested in dating you, but I'll issue a throwaway invitation to lunch--- the implication being that you're not attractive enough to really ask out.
Eeeeeeeeeeech! Yuck!
Bear in mind that if that stuff wasn't already lurking in my own head, I'd laugh him off as a clueless guy. But this stuck with me; it made me really mad, so there's obviously plenty in here for me to think about. (As it was, I emailed him back, saying only "Actually, I joined match.com to find dates, not athletic contests. Thanks, but no thanks," and left it at that. "Ride across Iowa and get back to me" was another viable alternative.)
Sigh. Now back to contemplating that circus freak part. Yeah, I guess I'm just not like the average dorito-eating, buffy-watching member of modern society. I'll give ya that. I chose my lifestyle because I like it. If I'm uncomfortable with being outside the mainstream, well, I need to strain that idea through my cranium repeatedly, until I'm 100% happy with the life I have chosen.... because I definitely wouldn't be happy with an average and usual life. N'est ce pas?
-----snip-------
I have no idea whether you would consider this challenge or not, but I am curious so I will ask. I have been working out consistently over the past month(first time ever) and would love to compare myself to a fit woman. I was beaten in armwrestling by a female trainer and I would love to see if I could compete with other fit females. You are definitely one of them. I mean no offense by it as I want to commend you for the shape you are in. I would just love to see what would happen. Maybe meet for lunch or something too. Just a thought!
------snip------
In looking at the profile... name withheld to protect the tactless... here we have a newly separated man who doesn't know what will happen with the separation (sounds like didn't see it coming and really wants to get back together with the wife), but also wants to get out and meet people--nothing like one woman to help you forget another one, I guess.
Yeow. There's a lot in this email for me. Reading it from the top down, I get:
- Even an unfit man can reasonably expect to compete with a fit woman
- I want to use you and your fitness as training wheels to motivate me
- And you're a bit of a freak for being as fit as you are
- No, I'm not interested in dating you, but I'll issue a throwaway invitation to lunch--- the implication being that you're not attractive enough to really ask out.
Eeeeeeeeeeech! Yuck!
Bear in mind that if that stuff wasn't already lurking in my own head, I'd laugh him off as a clueless guy. But this stuck with me; it made me really mad, so there's obviously plenty in here for me to think about. (As it was, I emailed him back, saying only "Actually, I joined match.com to find dates, not athletic contests. Thanks, but no thanks," and left it at that. "Ride across Iowa and get back to me" was another viable alternative.)
Sigh. Now back to contemplating that circus freak part. Yeah, I guess I'm just not like the average dorito-eating, buffy-watching member of modern society. I'll give ya that. I chose my lifestyle because I like it. If I'm uncomfortable with being outside the mainstream, well, I need to strain that idea through my cranium repeatedly, until I'm 100% happy with the life I have chosen.... because I definitely wouldn't be happy with an average and usual life. N'est ce pas?
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Oui...
Date: 2004-09-14 10:18 am (UTC)Nope, you're not. You don't look like you are, or even might be. And yes, there is a percentage of the "average" men AND women out there who will think of you as some kind of freak.
The question is, why do you care what the flabby, TV-lovin', fast-food-every-damn-day-eating, exercise-of-any-kind-hating, heart-attack-and-diabetes-by-50 types think? You don't want to date that kind of guy, do you? Not that I think it's necessarily a good idea to judge entirely by type that way, but you know what I mean.
Disclaimer: My opinion on this subject is both skewed and biased. While I'm not as fit as I used to be due to the illness, I'm still Well Above Average(tm) for an American woman, and I grew up a competitive athlete. (I'm afraid I do watch Buffy, though I don't eat doritos. Heh.) Also, I hugely admire your athletic lifestyle and your dedication to it. I doubt I'll ever quite manage to live up to your standards, but it's good to have people to look up to and to try to emulate. :)
Given all that, take my opinion for what it's worth...
Re: Oui...
Date: 2004-09-14 04:23 pm (UTC)Uh.... yeow.... good point... thanks! (I'm blushing now)
Good point. I guess I let his you-are-a-freak vibe get to me. My bad.