Dickens faire and competencies do not mix

I have not slept much. I was up most of the night studying for the infamous Friday orthopedics quiz, afte getting up VERY early on Thursday to teach spin. I was fairly well prepared for the quiz and did much better on this one than previous ones. Hooray! (My grade in Orthopedics definitely needed the help.)

However.... when it came time for lab competencies in the afternoon, my lack of sleep and consequent slaphappy state came back to bite me.

A list of lab competencies goes out on Wednesday; on Friday afternoon, everyone draws a number, and whatever number you draw, you must perform that number on the lab competency list, in front of two professors and 38 classmates.

Jeff draws #2, "Ask five history questions about spine and neck pain, not the five that #1 asked." We've agreed beforehand that I'll be his patient, and I will confess that I ride a time trial bike with aero bars and that hurts my neck.... giving him a wide array of potential things to ask about.

So when it comes our turn... I seat myself on the plinth, Jeff walks up and introduces himself as my student physical therapist (yes, we have to roleplay that way), and proceeds to start asking questions about my neck pain.

Jeff: So your neck hurts. What do you do for work?
Me: Oh, I'm a graduate student. It can be really stressful. (Some snickers from the class.)

Jeff: And what do you like to do for fun?
Me: Oh, I ride my triathlon bike, and it hurts when I do that, because I'm like _this_ (demonstrating).
Jeff naturally follows up on that opening: Oh, okay. And how many times a week do you do that?
Me: Two or three times a week, maybe anywhere from 20 to 50 miles at a time
Jeff: and does anything make your pain better when you ride?

At this point, my slaphappy brain said, "Yes! Sometimes I take a break and eat a twinkie!"
Then a saner part of my brain said, "NO! don't say that, you'll make people bust up and Jeff will get distracted and have to repeat his competency. Quiet! Must.... resist.... urge.... to.....mug.... for.... audience!"

Now my brain is loudly arguing with itself inside my skull, plus I'm trying to listen to Jeff, plus I'm trying to keep my mouth closed so the twinkie remark doesn't jump out from behind my teeth. No use. My remaining neuron that survived the Orthopedics quiz gives up in disgust, and I break out giggling helplessly.

Jeff valiantly keeps a straight face and continues:
Jeff: So tell me about how you sleep?
I reply, ditzily: Oh, I sleep on my stomach. With three big pillows!

The class is silent for a moment, as they all get the mental picture of someone sleeping on her stomach, head bent nearly all the way back by _three_ pillows. It's no use; I bust out laughing AGAIN; in between giggles, I squeak "On my feet! I put them on my feet!"

Oh yeah, like that remark fixed everything. Suuuuure.

Uh oh... who is this complete airhead, and when did she hijack my skull? (Actually, I know the answer to that. The astute dickens-faire-going observers among you may detect the fell hand of Emma Wickham, the World's Ditziest Maidservant, in this sorry account. Yes, it's true; Emma never met a ditzy moment she didn't like, and never passed up a chance to mug for an audience. I can't say I'm sorry about that. ;-)

Eventually, we got the interview back on track and Jeff passed his competency. I apologized to him later, but he said he didn't mind. Whew!