Kicking butt, or not kicking butt
Jun. 11th, 2004 07:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninevirtuesA couple of you have said that I am kicking major ass, or that I am doing something that is intimidatingly hard at my age, or our ages.
Thanks!
You got me thinking about that. Yeah, it's hard. No, it's not hard.
Why it's not hard: I have the same brain now I had during my undergrad, but now I have ten years of tech employment (and two careers that I had no formal training for, but did anyway). Life experience counts. Maturity counts. (I study more effectively now than I ever did during my undergrad, and I'm getting better grades and stressing less and racing my bike to blow off steam and feel like I've accomplished something athletic.)
Why else it's not hard: Generally, when I am completely confused, I've found that everyone else is too. When everyone is confused, our instructors notice that and they explain things again, plus we get together and try to help each other out.
Hmm. On the other hand, it is hard. Not necessarily for academic reasons.
It's hard not to have a fulltime job. Not having a salary sometimes makes my teeth itch. It's hard not to have good health insurance... I sweat that one sometimes.
And last, it's hard not to have opinions anymore. (Seriously: I would offer opinions (about things that were extremely important and personal to me, like my own academic interests or career plans) only to have my professors shout me down. (Seriously: I'd say something and they'd start talking, in that slightly elevated tone of voice that indicates a bully pulpit and does not allow for interruption, until I shut up and started agreeing with them.
Hmm, my opinions are the very same ones that people used to listen respectfully to and even pay well for. I finally concluded that I hadn't gotten dumber, I had just changed my external circumstances, and opinions (having them, not having them, expounding on them) were part of the currency and hierarchy of the situation.
I think I learned this from watching high tech: When there's plenty of power, plenty of money, and a clear organizational goal to make more of those, everyone is happy and working for the same purpose. Here, in academia, there's not so much money or power to go around. My professors are, in general, very nice people.... but information and opinions are the currency of power here, and they definitely flow downhill from them to us.
Hmm, the part about the opinions was half my post, and 'everything else' was the other half. it should be clear that I am still thinking this one out.
gotta fly!
You got me thinking about that. Yeah, it's hard. No, it's not hard.
Why it's not hard: I have the same brain now I had during my undergrad, but now I have ten years of tech employment (and two careers that I had no formal training for, but did anyway). Life experience counts. Maturity counts. (I study more effectively now than I ever did during my undergrad, and I'm getting better grades and stressing less and racing my bike to blow off steam and feel like I've accomplished something athletic.)
Why else it's not hard: Generally, when I am completely confused, I've found that everyone else is too. When everyone is confused, our instructors notice that and they explain things again, plus we get together and try to help each other out.
Hmm. On the other hand, it is hard. Not necessarily for academic reasons.
It's hard not to have a fulltime job. Not having a salary sometimes makes my teeth itch. It's hard not to have good health insurance... I sweat that one sometimes.
And last, it's hard not to have opinions anymore. (Seriously: I would offer opinions (about things that were extremely important and personal to me, like my own academic interests or career plans) only to have my professors shout me down. (Seriously: I'd say something and they'd start talking, in that slightly elevated tone of voice that indicates a bully pulpit and does not allow for interruption, until I shut up and started agreeing with them.
Hmm, my opinions are the very same ones that people used to listen respectfully to and even pay well for. I finally concluded that I hadn't gotten dumber, I had just changed my external circumstances, and opinions (having them, not having them, expounding on them) were part of the currency and hierarchy of the situation.
I think I learned this from watching high tech: When there's plenty of power, plenty of money, and a clear organizational goal to make more of those, everyone is happy and working for the same purpose. Here, in academia, there's not so much money or power to go around. My professors are, in general, very nice people.... but information and opinions are the currency of power here, and they definitely flow downhill from them to us.
Hmm, the part about the opinions was half my post, and 'everything else' was the other half. it should be clear that I am still thinking this one out.
gotta fly!
