"Everything you have in old age is a gift from your younger self. Eating habits, health, wealth, possessions, family-- are all gifts earned by your younger self for your enjoyment in old age."
That quote struck me, so I went looking in translations of De Senectute online... and never found that quotation. I found similar ones, though:
"Those, therefore, who allege that old age is devoid of useful activity adduce nothing to the purpose, and are like those who would say that the pilot does nothing in the sailing of his ship, because, while others are climbing the masts, or running about the gangways, or working at the pumps, he sits quietly in the stern and simply holds the tiller. He may not be doing what younger members of the crew are doing, but what he does is better and much more important. It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgement; in these qualities old age is usually not only not poorer, but is even richer."
"...when the preceding part of life has been nobly spent, old age gathers the fruits of influence at the last."
"But how blessed it is for the soul, after having, as it were, finished its campaigns of lust and ambition, of strife and enmity and of all the passions, to return within itself, and, as the saying is, "to live apart"! And indeed if it has any provender, so to speak, of study and learning, nothing is more enjoyable than a leisured old age."
And one on farming, that makes me wish I had fields and olive trees and beehives and goats:
"For the provident and industrious proprietor always has his store-room and cellars well filled with oil and wine and provisions; his entire farmhouse has an air of plenty and abounds with pork, goat's meat, lamb, poultry, milk, cheese, and honey. And there is his garden, which the farmers themselves term "the second flitch." Hawking and hunting, too, in leisure times, furnish the sauce for these dainties."
Your impulse to apologize is an impulse to be good. So, find some other, private ways to be good, to balance out the losses you caused and then some. It doesn't erase your mistake, of course; all it does is change the proportions of what you leave in your wake. A preponderance of good reduces mistakes to exceptions.
"Introverts are... a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."- education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig
" Introverts... need to turn off and recharge [after an hour or two of social interaction]. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating.
- Jonathan Rausch
For more: www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
- “Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
- “Beware of little expenses — a small leak will sink a great ship.”
- “There are no gains, without pains.”
- “Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day."
- “He that goes a-borrowing goes a-sorrowing.”
- “Tis easier to suppress the first desire, than to satisfy all that follow it.”
- “Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion.”
- “Industry need not wish.”
From my sister, who followed in Dad's footsteps as a C-130 pilot for the Guard-- slightly paraphrased:
"When I joined the Guard, I had to live up to Dad's reputation. He had a good reputation; if there was an easy way and a right way, Dad took the right way. The air force calls that integrity-- it's one of their core values."
Now, there is a challenge and a legacy I can strive to live up to.
I find myself trying to make sense of my father's passing, and it seems to me that I didn't really know him-- or at least, I didn't know him at his best. I saw an awful lot of people at his memorial service in Reno who were genuinely distressed that he was gone and who didn't know how they would manage without him to lead them. Dad did a lot; he was a smart guy; he was a charismatic and effective leader.
"It's what you do when nobody's watching that determines what kind of person you are." (Emphasis his)
50% of me comes from that guy. So, the things he did? I can do them. The good qualities he had? I am primed to have them, although I may have to work to bring them out. On the other hand, the issues he had? I have them too, or I have the potential for them.
From a Yahoo news article.... "Bob" is Phelps' coach, Bob Bowman.
Four years from now, Phelps has every intention of returning for the London Games, where he’ll be able to add to his already remarkable record.
“Bob has a saying, ‘Putting money in the bank,’ ” Phelps said. “When we train every day, sometimes there are workouts you don’t like, don’t want to do. Bob says you’re putting money in the bank.
“I guess I put a lot of money in the bank over the last four years, and we withdrew pretty much every penny in the bank. After Bob and I both grab a little break, it’ll be time to start depositing.”